You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I want her autograph on my taint
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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