yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The feeling are messing with the penis
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I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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