Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize