'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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