okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
