The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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