Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i drank out of a bidet.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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