Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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