so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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