I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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