The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
