.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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