my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
