wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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