I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
