what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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