he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize