That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize