I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
