toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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