Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
