brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
