would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize