I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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