I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
