Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
