24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
