you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
