Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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