Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize