Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
No stitches, just platelets and will power
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
