There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
