So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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