Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wish i was in the wii world.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
