we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize