that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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