There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
