He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
sex in a hospital.. check
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