Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
