I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
