Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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