If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
