why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
