I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Buhtt sex?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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