I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
