Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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