yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
