sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
