ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
