nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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