You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
