weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
