Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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