you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
