I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
