I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
