she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
