I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
