Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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