How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
