How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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