I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
