he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize