sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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