you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
