New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
