you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
